Oversized picnic baskets, bologna in my purse and "snee gulls"

I really have no amazing insight or indepth lesson for this particular blog. Just a series of unfortunate events that often seem to pop up in my life. It seems that these events always bring me to one conclusion though. Life is funny...no...down right hilarious! That and I believe that God has a sense of humor. I've always believed that. My friends and I used to wonder if God would see us stubbing our toes or tripping over things and giggle in spite of himself. Not because I believe that God isn't compassionate or anything, I just think that cause...well, hey, I laugh at myself when I don't pay attention and I know that God gave me SOME kind of common sense so surely he must laugh with me when I don't use that precious gift that He gave me.
Not everything I tell would be funny to just anyone. Some things are in the moment hilarity that not everyone would understand what is so stinking funny. I don't like calling them private jokes, nor do I like laughing about stuff in front of other people and saying "oh never mind, it's a private joke" when someone asks what is so funny. That's so annoying. Like your silliness is far more superior than mine. I assure you...if you fall on your face in a superior way, that in itself is gonna be a great story! So no, I'm not buying it...I'm thinking maybe folks who say that just don't know how to tell a good story. lol  Who knows, maybe I won't be that great at sharing my own stories. But hey we'll see. I assure you TELLING a story is more fun than WRITING a story. There's just something so great about sound effects and tones that can make a story come alive. That and laughter just makes other people laugh too. Some people have the BEST laughs!

So here's the deal. I'm either a very brave woman or a very stupid one lol but nonetheless I am one to take my four little darlings on road trips of three hours or more (one way.) Why, you may ask, because my children's grandparents live 6 hours north of us. 8 hours if you count all the bathroom stops that three little girls need to make frequently. I'm the mom you see at those pit stops with the five year old dancing all the way to the restroom and I'm screaming the entire time "WHERE'S THE BATHROOM!" and countless strangers part like the red sea all pointing to the back corner of the rest stop. WHEW! We made it again! And that's just our road trips we make in 30 minutes! It's true!

Fortunately, this is not one of those stories. This is the one where I thought a sea gull was gonna snatch my lunch right out of my hand while I celebrated my success of getting four kids into my husbands little red focus. Yeah that's always a great idea when you're thinking about gas mileage!
Not such a great idea when "she's touching me" or "how come they get to watch cartoons and I can't!" when the kid sitting in the front seat can't see the laptop screen. Anyway, moving on.

So I drove 3 hours to meet my parents who had been visiting with the grandkids all weekend so my husband and I could attend a marriage conference. Wasn't that sweet of them!
As it turns out one of my kids came down with the flu and was quite feverish when I went to meet them. Poor kid. So you can see why I'm trying to hurry. After spending quite a bit of money on our travels for the weekend I decided that it might be best to shop the local walmart for lunch meat and other picnic lunch stuff, rather than go to yet another drive up for our vittles. (Trust me...I should have gone through the drive up.) Also we needed medicines for my eight year old with the flu.
So we get all that rounded up and make it to the cash register. The slow process that always occurs wasn't helped much when the cashier asked to see my drivers license so that I could purchase children's cold medicine. I laughed and said to her "Apparently you have to be over 18 to have a cold now!" Yeah....my dad about choked. As did the Paula Deen lookalike behind him.
 Ok, moving on...We FINALLY get the suitcase, and massive amounts of toys that I DID NOT send north shoved into the tiny trunk, we get the car seats buckled in the car and the kids strapped in the seats before I take one look in the car and decide...I don't have any room whatsoever to make sandwiches.

.....excellent....

Ok, I am mom hear me roar! I got this!

I get the brilliant idea to use our shopping cart as an oversized picnic basket. (If you call it a buggy that's your choice but I am seriously laughing at you for it ;)

I got those pudding packets out, and the plastic cutlery (Thank you mom for reminding me to buy the spoons) the lunch meat packet and bread layed out on top of the plastic bags and went to work. It wasn't until I realized that the pack of bologna was resting IN MY PURSE that I decided this was bad awful wrong!!! Things are getting dramatic here! My mother is laughing so hard and runs off to grab her camera. I really am her pride and joy you know. Well, maybe not the pride part, but I definitely bring her joy.
Did I mention I hate bologna?! And there is BOLOGNA in my PURSE! Ohhhh, my daughter better know that this is love right here. Bologna in my purse...good grief!

Remove bologna from said purse and continue on.

With the bread tie between my teeth, I set to work at making 4 sandwiches for my little dearies. I hand them their food and realize that the bread wrapper seems to be stuck in my teeth! Oh isn't THAT rich! Thankfully it was easily removed without further incident. It would be MY luck to have to go to the Emergency room because of a dumb bread wrapper.

Side note: I've always been leery of freak accidents that send one racing to the E.R. every since I saw that college student pacing back and forth while his friend was making the appropriate calls explaining that the pacing kid had slipped on a chicken bone and fell on an axe. Yeah....try covering THOSE snickers up in the middle of the waiting room. Classic.

My mom is rolling laughing by now. I get everything made and handed to the kids who are by now covered in chocolate pudding. I get my own sandwich made and throw my hands in the air like I'm running through the finish line. WINNER!!!

It's at that moment that I remember the seagulls, at which point I do the whole duck and cover move trying to save my turkey sandwich from those wretched buzzard wannabe birds. My mother is by now looking at me like I really am going crazy haha. I look at her and exclaim, " I thought a "snee gull" was gonna snatch my sandwich!" 

I look up. Mom looks up. The sky is empty of any and all feathered assailants.

Yeah...I wonder what other people are thinking by now.

You see 3 hours north of where I live there would be no worry of seagulls snatching ones lunch since there really isn't any water due to the fact that we are now in the plains. But hey, I saved my sandwich so that is what matters right?!

Yeah...whatever.

So if you made it this far into this particular blog of nonsense I leave you with these comforting words.

This blog really does make NO sense other than the fact that I truly hope it made you laugh as hard as it made us laugh.

And yes...we did make it home without further incident.

In joy,
Aimee